June 21st 2007 5:40pm Savannah, GA Shyla’s little ranch home was tucked away behind the row of weeping willows. More dreary looking houses and an abandoned truck rusting by the street, made the scenery look even sadder. It was hard to imagine that inside one of those old withdrawn houses, a newborn was trying to see the world with twinkle eyes in all amazement. Eric had parked on the street and was now walking towards the little ranch home. He had not noticed the adjoining houses, nor that the driveway ended into a worm-infested narrow mud pathway leading towards the house. He could see nothing, as his insides couldn ’t bear another iota of sensory impulse. Or perhaps, he, standing at this moment, still and alone, on grounds completely alien, was shielded from everything outside of his own chosen senses. He felt strangely calm, as if he had just come walking out alive from the dead. As he stood in front of the large wooden door now, loud heartbeats thumped against his ringing hea...
Comments
Do you consciously stay away from flamboyant words and passages? Most Indian writers I follow have a complex writing style both from a vocabulary perspective and from a content perspective. While the content in your work is there...just hidden away, the vocabulary is simple. I understand you are a mother as well and as someone who has spent a lot of time with children, I speak from experience that it does influence your language and your behavior.
Anyway - great Blog. Perhaps I'll get one of my own started and invite you in for a cuppa tea ;)
Cheers!
the poem is quite precise though, and maybe would flow better in free verse.
hope to see more verses from you.
This is "Anon" - Got my blog up. It is very different from what you write...but keep writing - Short poems are da bomb! :)