Skip to main content

The Compromise (Part 1)

-June 21st, 2007
-2:00pm
-Somewhere between Atlanta and Savannah, GA

Eric Cohen stopped the car and let his head out through the window. Not a single car could be seen within a mile’s radius. The Sun’s brutal rays fell sharply over his balding head. He was blinded for the split second before he puked, for the third time. Puking felt good momentarily. But then Eric was too high to enjoy the release fully. His head was like a dead washing machine not even trying to start itself. He sat back straight on his seat wiping his mouth with Kleenex. As he put his hands on the wheel again, the churn in his stomach returned. Nothing had prepared him for this. Nothing. Not even the strongest joint he had ever fixed in his life.

Three minutes passed. Three very long minutes. Eric wanted to start the engine. He really did. And intermittently between the clouded nirvanas, he thought that he actually could. He had been feeling this way for weeks now. And especially when he was high on marijuana, he believed he had finally earned the right to do this, finally….

Eric realized he was crying when he felt his tears wet his track pants. His favorite track pants. Simple black, with two white stripes running down the length. He had 5 other pairs, all lined up in his neat closet. Eric was obsessively meticulous.

Rubbing his eyes, he started the engine. The radio turned on. It was playing Nine Inch Nails’ head like a hole. His Chevy Avalanche screeched out of the shoulder into highway at 65 miles an hour. A Toyota Highlander crossed him. Eric cranked up the radio and pushed the accelerator.



-September 14th, 2006
-10:00am
-Somewhere in Florida

The abortion clinic was 15 minutes away. That meant they were running behind schedule by fifteen minutes. Eric’s schedule that is. Shyla never stopped crying to actually plan anything. Ever in her entire life. She was blond, rail-thin and twenty-two, eleven years younger than Eric. They had met at a party and had made love. She had had two vodka shots and at least two pina coladas. Eric never drank anything. He was sober when she had pulled into his arms.

Eric mouthed curse words incessantly at everyone on the road. He hated everything at this moment. His life, Shyla’s life, his car, the road, and all other drivers . But most of all, he hated himself. Actually, he had never loved anyone since he was ten. Till then he had loved his mom. When she died of an accident, he had stopped loving and started hating. Now more than twenty years later, he still was the same. Cursing a lot and hating himself. Perhaps that gave him a better reason, to live.


(To be Continued ....)

Comments

GS said…
Finally something in-tune with the genre I am most comfortable with :) There are a few sentences that could be tweaked to add more drama...a few words that would carry more power if replaced...

---BUT---

FINISH IT FINISH IT FINISH IT!!! :)
Anonymous said…
Wow! I thought you were narrating some real-life experience...good stuff :)
Proma said…
Zoram : thanks, I guess that was a compliment ;)
Good start. Eager to read the rest.Nice language.however i feel that one mistake many writers make is over-explanation. about the sun rays on the bald head, etc...kinda makes it a trifle difficult to concentrate....i feel such things should come a little into the story, and not as the first lines..

apart from that, the story seems to have promise and i assume you already have a story line planned. waiting for your update:)
Filarial said…
nice start..:).. i wudnt say u wud "make love" after all that booze.. thts putting it in an extremely optimistic way..:D
GS said…
Ha ha ha :) ( @ filarial's comment)

Popular posts from this blog

Faraway

Like a rose without water I will age deep vermillion and scentless. Your love I will keep like white envelopes from the past unopened under my sandal-scented bed. It is not memories that the mention of your name reminds. But a whole universe that I sometimes see when I sit and watch snow melt outside my window. Two drops of jasmine oil and two words later I remind myself this is only a poem and you distant, like a faraway place I want to visit. And say goodbye once again.

First Love makes you a worse person. (So go look for the second one to fix that!)

It has been twenty years since you left. Twenty years that I have not seen you. Honest to God, I don’t completely remember your face now. Only that smile, those hazel eyes, and your green striped shirt that later, someone stole from your clothesline on a summer afternoon. That summer remember, we stole mangoes from whichever garden we could, and attempted to cook chutney. And the aftermath – burnt coils of the electric heater and a blackened saucepan. I wonder why even after all these years, a gentle sprinkle of your memories, unleashes a strong flow of emotions that occupy those corners of my mind that normally don’t exist in my everyday life. I don’t like it. I don’t like that you come so close to me but only in a dream. I can neither touch you nor make you go away. You tease me like a freshly popped champagne bottle spilling out froth. That froth that burns my fingertips, but never wets them enough. And slowly, precipitates away into nothing. You are not “nothing” in my life. Y

The Compromise (Final Part)

June 21st 2007 5:40pm Savannah, GA Shyla’s little ranch home was tucked away behind the row of weeping willows. More dreary looking houses and an abandoned truck rusting by the street, made the scenery look even sadder. It was hard to imagine that inside one of those old withdrawn houses, a newborn was trying to see the world with twinkle eyes in all amazement. Eric had parked on the street and was now walking towards the little ranch home. He had not noticed the adjoining houses, nor that the driveway ended into a worm-infested narrow mud pathway leading towards the house. He could see nothing, as his insides couldn ’t bear another iota of sensory impulse. Or perhaps, he, standing at this moment, still and alone, on grounds completely alien, was shielded from everything outside of his own chosen senses. He felt strangely calm, as if he had just come walking out alive from the dead. As he stood in front of the large wooden door now, loud heartbeats thumped against his ringing hea